As many of you know, I really do try not to use stereotypes in my posts. Whenever possible, I try to base my discussions on facts or other relevant data to support my positions. However, I have to throw that completely out of the window for this one!
Damned crazy women drivers! Three times in two months! Two times in one week! What the hell? Do I have a freakin target on the back of my car or what? I own a Scion tC. It’s not a big car, but it’s not a really little car either. It’s Indigo blue with all the works on it…had every possible upgrade added to it…PLUS I have enough American Flag and Support our Troops magnets on it to keep the magnet industry in business for a long time! So, how the hell is it that you women keep hitting my damned car?!?!?!?!
So..two months ago I’m travelling down I-75, a major Interstate running north-south here in Florida. As I come up to a construction area, slowing from about 80mph to 40 because everyone else in front of me is slowing down, what do I see coming barreling down at me in my rear view mirror but a damned boat of a car. I can see she isn’t about to slow down any time soon. I’m in the far left lane, a car blocking me in front, traffic passing on the right, and big orange construction barrels on my left. Just as I hear her finally hit the breaks, rubber just screaming to grab on to the tar, I gun it, veer left towards the median aiming for the gap between the barrels when she slams my right rear end spinning me into the median. It could have been much worse had I not seen her coming and moved left. I check the damage to my car, which seemed minimal..she tore off the rear side panel and messed up the muffler and part of the rear bumper. However, I could still drive it. I looked at her car…there was a shitload of damage to her left front and down the left side. BUT!!!! It wasn’t blue paint. When I questioned her about it, she told me she did a lot of that damage pulling out of her garage the weekend before. Oh! Great! My immediate thoughts were…get the freak off the roads then wench! If you can’t negotiate a damned garage and driveway, you have no business being on a freakin interstate!!!!
So, we exchange insurance information. I was on my way down to a meeting with a State Inspector when we got in the accident. She was on her way to class. Neither of us really had the time to deal with the paperwork involved in calling the state troopers, nor the time to wait for them to show up. As soon as I got on the road, I called the inspector to let him know what happened and that I would be a little late. I then called my insurance company. Then I called her insurance company. Long story short there, her company agreed to pay for everything. My car was fixed good as new within a week.
Now..here we are, about four – five weeks since I had my car repaired. I’m on my way to work Monday morning travelling down a major road..not interstate…but a very heavily travelled road during that time of morning. Again, I’m in the far left lane. Cars in front of me slowing down, I slow down. Next thing I know, this Scion xB comes flying by on my right side and I hear a “thud”!!! Holy freakin shit! I realize I just got sideswiped! The xB pulls over in front of me, moves to the left median, and I pull up behind it. This lady, looks about 50ish, gets out. My first thought…”Freakin women drivers.” My second thought “my insurance company is never going to believe this!” So, before she even gets to me, I’m already heading to the right rear side of my car to assess the damage. Whew! Just a little paint exchange. I was able to wipe it off. No scratches, no dents, no nothing. The whole time I’m looking at my car, I can hear her saying “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I didn’t respond at all until she finally got up to me. At that time, I just tell her my car is okay, I’m okay, and let’s go look at her car. As we are walking towards her car, I see a dent on the left rear side of her car. Naturally, I ask her if that is where she hit me, to which she replies..”No. That’s where I hit the tree in my yard backing out of the driveway.” Oh No! How freakin wonderful! Another stupid-assed woman who can’t even negotiate a damned driveway…and she’s on the roads! I just looked at her. When we get to the front end, same thing as mine..just a little paint exchange that can be rubbed off. Since there was no damage, no injuries, we just left on our merry ways.
So..today…I’m on my way to work, I get over the bridge and off at my exit. I need to turn left..but it is a two-lane left turn. I’m in the right lane this time. I’m not taking any more chances in those left lanes. So..I’m at a red light. Only one car in front of me and the red light. Several cars stopped to the left of me. Other cars are passing to my right to make the right turn there. Cars lining up behind me. All of a sudden…”thump”! I look in my rear view mirror and that freakin bitch behind me is on her cell phone, giving me the “I’m sorry” look! I’m like, seriously, what the hell is going on here!?!?!?! I have a standard 5 speed..so…when she hit me, it actually rolled me a little forward..but, unlike these crazy-assed women drivers…I actually leave room in front of me…I don’t hit the car in front of me. Once the light turns green, I make my left and immediately look for a place to turn off. She follows me. Little does she know that she is the third boneheaded female driver to hit me in two months! Little does she know that she just rubbed that very last nerve!!! I get out as she’s pulling up behind me…She barely gets out of the car when I start laying in to her about what a crazy-assed driver she is and how she shouldn’t be on the road and that the state of Florida needs to stop giving licenses to women..and it was obviously peppered with every expletive you could possibly think of..and she never saw it coming. I think she was in her late 50ish years as well. I’m surprised I didn’t give that woman a heart attack!
Considering this IS Florida and we do have concealed weapons permits, and the fact that we did just pass another law that allows you to keep your gun in your glove compartment at work or when you enter a business and the fact that we have the Castle Doctrine where you can protect your property with deadly force…I have no doubt that had she been packing, I probably would have been staring down the barrel of a gun! I was livid and I have no doubt that I probably scared the living shit out of her!
Again, no damage to my car! But, I’m sure she won’t be driving and talking on a cell phone again any time soon. Freakin’ crazy women drivers!
